The Dreams I’ve Dreamt

About 3 weeks ago, I began to read ‘Dreaming With God’ by Bill Johnson. Over the past week, the combinations of this book, some other writings, and some of my thoughts, have put me in an interesting place. It’s a place of reflection, evaluation, questioning, dreaming, and well, I can say that I’m a bit overwhelmed, and have the feeling that my head is working overtime, just to try and process everything I’m thinking.

Something I learned from a writing this week is that: you are capable of doing a lot, but what you are capable of and what you are called to do are two entirely different things. If you are like me, you may have been raised with a mutated view of what serving God looks like. My relationship with the Lord was dependent on how much I did for him, in works, and using my giftings; not simply because I loved him. I worked so hard at everything within my church because that’s what you did to keep God pleased with you. So, the result was this constant need to over exert myself and get as many things on my plate as humanly possible.

This is something I’m still trying to full break, and although my motives may be corrected now, I still have a tendency just to take everything on that is asked of me, rather than focusing my time and energy on the things God has called me to do. I know that the Lord has made me a dreamer, ever since I was a kid I can remember dreaming about things that were a lot bigger than me, and thank God that somewhere along the journey God awoke me to the fact that these dreams were possible. As a result of His grace, I have witnessed dreams I never thought would come to pass in my lifetime, dreams that have already been fulfilled at 25 years old, and new dreams and desires have taken their place.

Now, back to this past week. I’ve been doing some evaluation, and it seems that my heart and my head have been colliding as I’m working out the “how am I going to get this done” type questions to all the dreams and desires in my heart. As some answers come, and the dust settles in particular areas, other questions rise up, and kick up even more dust in my mind. I’m learning that if too much time passes without evaluation, a sudden flood of provoked memories and past thoughts float up to the surface of your mind; and you’ll find that the dreams you once dreamt about, have either expired or you’ll find that they have been kept safe, hidden and kindled within your heart. And maybe some dreams are meant to die and others to live on, but I want to be conscious of the dreams that God wants to develop.

Is this the groundwork for deciding to dream again? I think that for me, it has to be.

Understanding what the Lord has placed on your life and then choosing to align your life to be obedient to that calling and to those dreams; it takes work. It requires you to look at your life and the time you give away, and after that, you have to reallocate and readjust your time and your life. Deciding to be obedient to follow God’s voice and leading brings change.

I want to be a dreamer. I want to be a visionary. I want divine creativity, which is the fruit of wisdom. I want to have ears that hear the leading of God, and feet that will persistently walk on the road set before me. All of this will lead me to Him, and that’s right where I want to be.

The Story You Won’t Hear About The ELCA

This is in fact the story you won’t hear nationally about the ELCA’s (Evangelical Lutheran Church Of America’s) decision not only to allow homosexual pastors, but also those in homosexual relationships.

This week the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (one of the largest Christian denominations with about 4.7 million congregants) was holding its annual convention in Minneapolis this week. The “hot topic” at the convention was whether or not the church was going to permit sexually active gays and lesbians to be pastors.

The first session of the debate was scheduled to take place at 2pm on Wednesday at the Minneapolis Convention Center in downtown Minneapolis.
Then at 2 pm, something very unexpected happened!

At 2 pm CST, a tornado touched down in downtown Minneapolis. Yes, A TORNADO in DOWNTOWN MINNEAPOLIS. This hasn’t happened since 1904, long before towering skyscrapers filled the city streets. Next to the convention center was Central Lutheran Church (an ELCA church). The winds of the storm not only ripped huge limbs off of trees and caused 1,800 square feet of roof damage to the convention center, but the steeple that stood atop Central Lutheran Church was split in two with the cross bent nearly 180 degrees downward.

After the steeple was split in two and the cross was flipped upside down, the funnel cloud lifted. There were no fatalities or serious injuries reported. Two days later inside the damaged Minneapolis Convention Center, the ELCA voting members (approximately 1,000) voted by an overwhelming 68% majority, to allow sexually active gays and lesbians in “committed relationships” to serve as pastors in their congregations.

We need to pray! The mixture has with the church and the world has come to a head and it’s time to take a stand for TRUTH! The only vote that mattered was THE WORD OF GOD and the word says that homosexuality is wrong. We are living in troubled times and in a day in age where many are easily being deceived.

We must pray, and we must love the truth and stand for it.
Much Love!
Coty.

Melodies Of The Spirit

The Discoveries & Challenges In A Town Of 500 People

Well, as I sit to write this, I have now been a resident of Ottertail, Minnesota for 239 days. Wow, does time ever go so fast!
I’m in a unique place in my life. I feel like through the first half year of my time in Minnesota and continuing on now, I’m in a season of discovery and of challenge. In this blog I hope to share some insight of my life now, and what I’m learning.

The Discovery Of Songwriting
I have written 5 songs since arriving in Ottertail. Now, these are with words and music, and usually I just get melodies and tunes without words, so to be writing words is such a new and different experience for me, and one that I am genuinely excited about. It’s something I never thought I’d do, and never believed I could be successful at; and yet somehow by living life and going though things, I’m coming out the other side discovering this new gifting. What was once a seeming simple seed placed inside me years back, is beginning to bloom into something beautiful; what a gift.

The Challenge Of Stepping Out
I wrote a song about 4 weeks ago called ‘Song In The Night,’ and after a recent trip out West to Washington and Idaho I got to sing this song alongside my good friend Peter who was playing guitar. 3 to 4 hours before the worship night began, Peter and I sat down to go over music for the evening. In a unique and fun way, through me singing and Peter playing hit and miss with chords (mostly hits), he helped me discover what I was hearing in my head, in chords, and we were able to play the song that evening for the people in Couer D’Alene, Idaho, and later that week in Rainier, Washington.

I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t nervous, because I was, but the nervousness I felt was a good and kind of relaxed nervous. The amazing thing about it is that the experience felt more freeing that fearful, and I guess that’s what stretching can feel like. Singing two songs that night was something I’ve longed to do but, have never felt adequate enough to do. But, on that trip, I had a few people share with my how the song impacted them, and encourage me to keep writing, and encouraging me to keep singing, for those who need hope and need to see the light. Yet, another incredible gift.

The Discovery Of Family
This is something that I have been discovering over the past 5 years, but am beginning to realize how much I’ve discovered. The family I grew up with was dysfunctional in it’s own ways, and it has been incredible for me to see who the Lord has placed around me and to see all the people that He has crossed my path with, especially as I begin to re-learn and re-discover what family is. He first began to show me through the Baker Family in Mansfield, TX.

Ray & Teddi Baker have shown me more of what it means to be a mother and a father, than anyone I’ve ever known. I could only hope to understand the biblical importance of being parents as they have come to know, and show through how they live their lives. Ray provides for and leads his family. He loves his wife and children above all else and his genuine kindness in helping young men & women to strengthen themselves in the Lord comes simply out of his love for God. Something I want to be the one thing that leads me in all I do.

Miss Teddi, loves people. She’s a supporter of almost everyone she meets, and is always up late with people, even when everyone else has gone to bed and smost of the time it’s just to talk (and laugh). Not many people know how to listen, but she is the best at it. A conversation with her is one of the most fulfilling simply because she cares as a mother does. Something I admire. Together, Ray and Teddi have raised 5 incredible children, all of whom I’ve come to love, and all of whom are serving God. And then there is Grandma, who lives with them. She is a prayer warrior and loves people. She loves investing into people and spending time with them, much as her daughter has come to love. Through the conversations you spend with her, you begin to hear the years of wisdom come out of her. Something I hope to attain.

The Challenge Of Community
Now, I’ve moved to a new place, with new people, and I find that I’m discovering community. It’s a different kind of family cause it involves a lot more people. If I’m being completely honest, this place is amazing and challenging all at the same time. I find that I miss the intimate time I often shared with my family in Texas but, that just means that I’m not taking the time to make sure they happen here. The first month or so, it was easy, cause your new and you want to get to know everyone, but how do you continue to sow into people and establish meaningful relationship, in the midst of so many people and so many things happening. It’s like trying to cultivate a relationship with 25 people simultaneously. That for me is getting harder.

I find myself spreading myself thin, often for the sake of wanting to be around everyone all the time rather than first making sure my relationship with the Lord is first priority and then out of that, spending real, quality time with those I’ve come to love here in Ottertail. There are too many incredible people to list, but I guarantee you, they are all incredible. It’s something I’m working on, and something I know I can find a balance with, as I remember the examples of families past and combined them with the experiences and families of the future, I know and hope that I’ll find a way to become what it is that I see myself becoming in Christ.

The Discovery & Challenge Of Love
I recently finished reading a book about 2 months ago called ‘The Shack.’ Through the experience of reading this book, I found myself having a clearer understanding of the Lord of God and of the unity of the trinity at work. The Shack was a beautiful story about one man’s discovery through a vision about discovering who the Lord is, and ultimately, discovering the Love of God. But, the end of this book, I felt like I had obtained some kind of new understanding about the Love of God.

It’s a complex thing in my mind to grasp, because his love is perfect and we our thinking is flawed. So, discovering the love of God is an ongoing discovery and challenge for me, and I am grateful for any experience in life which has allowed me the opportunity to learn what real love is, and how real love looks, and how genuine love feels, and how true love changes people. I’m believing that I can better discover the love of the Lord because I know that’s what changes people and I want to change. I’m not satisfied with who I am. I’m grateful for how I’ve grown, but I’m not satisfied with who I am today.

So, as I continue walking on my road to Him, I am praying and seeking for the heart of God, that through my discoveries and the challenges I face, I might see His heart for me and his heart for others. And as I discover these things about Him, I can then watch as my heart continues to mold into what it was intended to be… wholly His!

Much Love,
Coty.

Learning To Love

FAILING AT CHRISTIANITY 101.
Something is happening in my heart and I’m going to try my best to explain it. I run the risk of sounding clique but, I’m going to do my best to avoid that all together. What I’m experiencing is changing my heart and will certainly set the path for how I decide to live out the rest of my life. (With this statement comes the high possibility that many more thoughts and additions to this blog could follow. Haha.)

When it comes to my relationship with God, for many years I followed Religion’s guide to Christianity as the source of laying the foundation for my relationship with God. The result of which has been damaging to say the least. Making sure to learn and follow all the rules so that I know what makes God happy and what makes him disappointed. Learning how to follow the all important list of don’t(s).

What I’ve discovered over time is that this relationship has nothing to do with rules and everything to do with relationship. (sounds clique but, keep reading) In Christianity’s grade book, I myself, and my guess is about 99.99% of the population of the planet are FAILING. Except pastors of course. (I’m kidding! A little sarcastic humor, sorry!)

READ THE BIBLE AND GOD STAYS HAPPY
Is it possible for God to love someone in the midst of flaws? Or is it more realistic to see love as merited to those who obey the rules? Is love awarded to someone when they stay out of trouble, or is love given just as much when they’re in the midst of a sinful lifestyle?

There are so many things in my life that I’ve done with the intent to please God but I’ve carried them out with the motive of obligation. For years, I’ve struggled to read my word consistently, as many people do, and recently I’ve begun to wonder why?

Is it simply because I’m not disciplined enough? I’m sure that plays a part and those with a religious mind set would have me believe that discipline is the sole reason for this short coming, but I can’t help but think that there’s more involved. Is God not happy by my lack of discipline? Is God more happy with someone who reads out of the compulsive need to stay in right standing with Him, and for fear that He might love them less as a result? (rhetorical question.) What’s the motive? I’m not justifying a lack of discipline in anyone’s life, nor am I saying that reading the Bible militantly is a bad thing, it’s certainly not; I just believe that the fruit of what we do depends upon; the motive of our heart, and why we do what we do in the first place.

OBLIGATION, EXIT STAGE LEFT… LOVE, ENTER STAGE RIGHT…
In all that I do with my life, I want it to be an overflow of my love for God. Not, because I have a gifting and I feel the obligation to make use of my calling, but simply because I love him. I’ve gone through so much useless guilt and condemnation over failures in my walk, both big and small. It’s time that we understand if the motive is love, how can we go wrong when the blood of Christ has covered us wholly?

I want to read my word, because I love him, and want to know him more. I want to develop my giftings because I love him,and I know that it pleases his heart when I do it with excellence. I want to love people, because I love Him, and loving people is the single thing he wants from me most (aside from loving Him). I want to fast or make a vow, because I love him, and when it’s right, because I believe it’ll cause me to see him in a different light by removing things in my life, out of the way.

I don’t want to read my word, because I feel the obligation to read everyday, and by doing so I’m keeping him less disappointed in me. I don’t want to develop my giftings so that I can simply be better and get further in my ministry (many mistake this for a career, and that topic is for a different blog.) I don’t want to fast or make a vow because I think that God loves people who fast more or because I’ve been told it’ll make me more righteous or holy in His site and in others. I don’t want to walk through life loving myself more than others. And I certainly don’t want to keep striving for an A in Christianity and FAILING when it comes to truly loving God and loving people.

THIS IS WHAT I’M LEARNING
At the end of the day, I was told to love. And His love towards me and you has NEVER changed. So, if what I do for God and for others isn’t out of love… it is nothing.

Announcement: To Minnesota I Go!

With great excitement and of course some sadness, I am leaving one week from today for my new home in Ottertail, MN. I am leaving behind some of the most amazing people I have ever met, and in return I’m going to be with some of the most amazing people I have ever met.

I have lived in Dallas for just over 4 years now, which has offered some of the best and worst times of my life. I can say with confidence that the man I was 4 years ago, is very different from the man I am becoming with each and every day; and I’m thankful for that. It has been 1,461 days with which I believe I embraced change with all I had. 35,064 hours with which I had some amazing life-changing experiences, and 2,103,840 minutes with which I have been discovering who God is. The time I have spent here in Texas is beyond value, and with the highs and the lows, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the entire world.

Now as I begin to pack up my things, and say my goodbyes, I leave for a new place with new faces, new challenges, and new discoveries. In Ottertail, Minnesota, there is a group by the name of Firestarters, that I will soon become a part of. (more on that later). They are a group of people who love God and have a vision bigger than themselves, and one that I am confident that the Lord is calling me to become part of. It is the place where I first recorded music, and hopefully will get to record more in the future. I’m excited simply because within my spirit, I know that the timing is perfect and that the Lord has never ceased to amaze me with how beautifully He orchestrates things in my life.

So, wherever you are reading this from, whether you are here in Dallas, and know me personally, or you are a supporter of my music from somewhere around the world, or even if you are one of my best friends; thank you for taking the time to be part of my walk. I’m grateful for every face I’ve met while I’ve traveled and every lifelong friend I’ve made along the way. I’m fixing my eyes on Jesus, more and more, and moving forward in what He is calling me to.

Please be praying for continued safety during travels and that all the things that come with transition will work out smoothly.

God Bless You, and I’ll write again soon!
Coty.

The Fatherless In A Generation

For those of us who have either grown up without a father, or felt as though we had no father; or those who just wish to understand what I believe is happening within this generation, here is some very much personal revelation I recently received from the Lord, and correction that has found it’s way into my own heart.

THE PLAGUE OF THE FATHERLESS GENERATION
The fatherless have longed for replacements, but yet what they need is a model.

The fatherless must learn to depend on God for their physical, emotional, financial, and other needs. We need models of fathers and mothers so that mindsets might be corrected and that understanding of how to be better mothers and fathers would be the result to come. We need spiritual fathers and mothers not so that they can solely supply all of the needs we have, but so that we can receive guidance and develop the unfulfilled places in our hearts and minds.

To those that have been or are fatherless, you need to experience the full restorative work of the love of God in our life, and understand that you will have to be more dependent on Jesus than ever before, more so then on other people. The Lord surrounds you will people, so that they might help support you, but not to carry you.

What happens when we depend so heavily on people? Two things, 1) you’ll never learn how you walk on your own, and 2) eventually you’ll end up disappointed and hurt, unnecessarily; and it’ll happen because so often you look to others to fulfill every need you have, rather than looking first to God. It’s very similar to how the church operates, so many depend upon the pastor that often they don’t even know how to cultivate a relationship with God on their own.

A MESSAGE TO THE FATHERLESS
You are not orphaned, for it was God who formed you and knew you in your mother’s womb. Although the term “fatherless” may be imprinted on your life because you lack an earthly father, you are loved and cherished by your heavenly father more thank any man or woman could ever wish to express. You have not been forgotten, but rather can hold fast in knowing that God has promised and acted upon his promise to love you for all eternity; and it’s for that reason thay you were created.

MY HOPE
This understanding of what to do with the fatherless in our midst today, is very much a problem that is recognized but with which no real mass recognition or solution has come, and it’s my prayer that maybe this personal note just might help to bring fresh understand on what it is that people are dealing with and how best to assist. Ultimately my heart is that through my thoughts, it would provoke others to point their thoughts to God.

After a complex family situation I found myself, longing for a “replacement” father, for years of my life. What I needed most was a model of a father, so that I might be able to allow change to happen that will produce fruit in my life, and then my children’s lives; both physically and spiritually. And I thank God, that change is happening!

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A Change Of Heart

The other night I had a dream.  It was four days after I received an invitation to go to Belize and work in helping to build an orphanage; and one day after I received the money I needed to go. My friends Maranda and Shane, along with myself were visiting this church. I could tell it was a Sunday morning and as we walked in, we walked downstairs and into this long hallway, and as Maranda and Shane went into a room to prepare something I went upstairs into the sanctuary.

It was a few minutes before the service was about to start and a man whom I identified as the pastor in this dream, he came up to me and asked if I would like to share something with the congregation. Taken back somewhat by the offer I accepted even though I didn’t know what I was going to share. As we approached the stage together, I knew that I was going to talk about children. So, we went up on stage, and He greeted the congregation and then gave me the microphone to share.

So as I went to share about children, I got three words out of my mouth and this tremendous burden just hit my heart and I collapsed to the floor and just started weeping over these children, all the fatherless children in the world. I just sat there and wept with the congregation silently watching me, until moments later told Shane that I need him to come speak to them about the children. And then I woke up.

I remember waking up and having known that the burden that had impacted my heart in the dream had actually come upon my spirit, and it’s strange because I have never felt this way before. I have been impacted by statistics before but it has never transpired into my heart like this before. So needless to say, I don’t think that the Lord is majorly changing the entire direction of my calling, but I do believe that he his developing an area in my heart that needed attention. It’s causes that much more anticipation to rise up in my heart for this trip, and for the transformation that I know is going to happen inside me as a result of it.

The Lord says that when we go and when we love the lowest, we are doing it as unto Him. (Matt 25:34-40)

I’m going to learn how to love even more.

Coty.

The Conductor

I need to preface this devotional by explaining how exactly I was inspired by this idea. Last night I went to a live worship recording. I was standing in the balcony with my friends for the night, and as many of you know, by standing in a balcony you can see a lot of things that you wouldn’t normally see. As the worship band had begun there fourth song, I sort of looked to the middle back portion of the large audience and saw this young man who was worshiping in a very, lets just say “unique,” way. Ok, I’ll be honest, it was flat out weird. The thing that caught my eye? Excessive arm movement. And after staring for about 10 seconds, without blinking, I figured out exactly what it was that he doing. He was conducting.

From a seat that well over 100 feet away from the stage, this young man was conducting as though the band was following his every move. Arms getting bigger as the sound grew louder, a quick jab for big hits on the cymbals, and every move of his arms was in 4/4 time, with every hand movement correctly following the time signature, as a real conductor. Even during the spontaneous portions of worship, he would find the tempo and would seemingly be orchestrating the entire thing. As you can tell by now, I was quite fascinated by this display of an endless, 2 1/2 hour composition. Of course, wrapped in my thoughts of the conductor were the memories of every outlandish and crazy thing I’ve ever seen in worship, and from having traveled to many “overly charismatic” churches, the stories are many. But, as this young man was making his way into my seemingly cataloged memories of “This is crazy, I don’t understand what’s going on with you, type worshipers,” the Lord brought a thought to my mind, and one that I can relate.

I grew up learning the violin classically. Being taught and trained classically, there were also many years of orchestra class. Our teacher, the conductor, would gracefully wave his or her baton during a performance, if order to keep us on tempo, and giving us (the orchestra) cues throughout the entire performance. Certain hand movements would cause us to speed up, others to slow down. Some would cause us to change things stylistically, while other signals would communicate the need to be more expressive. All the while, the conductor’s responsibility was to help us achieve the maximum effect with the music that had been prepared for us.

Now, growing up in an high school symphony orchestra, with around an 80+ member string section, and a total of 110+ musicians, you got a wide variety of skill levels and sounds to match those skill levels. In other words, there were some who could make the notes and a page pierce and melt your heart, while others would pierce your ear, causing you to have some sort of involuntary reaction on your face, closely resembling that of eating a lemon. Nevertheless, the conductor has arranged and prepared the music for the performance and is attempting to help you achieve a maximum effect with that music. And as for us (the performers,) well, the Webster’s dictionary defines a performance as; “the manner in which or the efficiency with which something reacts or fulfills it’s intended purpose.”

This is what the Lord has shown me. He is the conductor of our lives. He has prepared and arranged things for us as His Word says. He has not only prepared the music of our lives, but He has arranged the events and given us the opportunity to achieve a maximum effect with every day that we breathe. This is not to say that we are the puppets of pre-destination, because we have a part to play, and we have a free will. The musician’s skill level that I was referring to, is reflective of how we use character and following the principles in the word in our everyday lives. Following the word and the instruction of the Lord that He gives us, is the manner in which you are playing the music of your life back to Him.

So, I challenge you with this. How does your orchestra sound? Are you able to hear the voice of the Lord and move when He tells you to move? Do you display grace to others as it has been shown to you? Do you love your everyday neighbor as much as you love yourself? Are you seeing the fullness of the kingdom, displayed through your life? I certainly can not say yes to all of these things all the time. I sin and I make mistakes. An abundance of sin in your life will turn what was designed to be beautiful into something wrenched. But regardless of hick-ups along the way, my heart longs to perform the music of my life in such a way that it would move the heart of God. That the harmonies that resonate from my life would bring a smile to his face, and be pleasing to His ear. That in everything I do, I would honor Him, and bring glory to His Name alone.

Play beautifully for him,
Coty.

Ephesians 2:10,

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”

Psalm 119:111-112,

“Your testimonies I have taken as a heritage forever,
For they are the rejoicing of my heart.
I have inclined my heart to perform Your statutes (principles)
Forever, to the very end.”

The Costly Trade

Recent revelation compels me to write. I am often blessed with opportunity to visit different churches around the United States, and since I know I am called to the Church in America, I am consistently given the opportunity to observe things in the body of Christ that I feel need to be attended to.

This most recent of thoughts comes out of a conversation that I had while sitting around a dining room table with a dear family in Appleton, Wisconsin. “We (the Church) have traded our ability to live in, breathe, and expose people to the Kingdom of God, and in return we have given the people religion.”

What is religion? And why do we need it? I believe the answer to that is that we don’t. Religion is something for many that simply pacifies and satisfies the flesh. There is a part of all of us that desires some kind of boundary, consistency, repetition, and stability; and while the character of the Lord never changes and although He is a God of order, the fact remains HE WILL NOT BE LIMITED BY ANYTHING, and especially by religion.

Many of us have been placed in this box called Christianity. When in fact it’s the box of religion that we’ve been placed into, it was just incorrectly marked “Christianity.” For the rest of my life I will be doing my best to be a Christian, and yet I will never be able to fully exemplify that in every meaning of the word. To be Christ-like is a process of relationship that will lead us to the heart of God for the rest of our lives.

The Kingdom is here and it is now. We were created to experience and to spread this Kingdom all over the earth. There is freedom to worship the Lord is spirit and in truth. There is the ability to supernaturally receive revelation in the word. There is the ability to experience healing and to pray for the sick and see them recover, the power of deliverance, devine encounters, and all of these things are in ample supply and available to those who believe and understand how the Kingdom of God works.

It boils down to a choice between RELATIONSHIP and RELIGION. I’ve chosen relationship, and only through a continuous revelation of the word has the Lord begun to reveal himself to me in ways I never knew. My life matters and has significance, because of this relationship that has developed with the One whom created me. I want my life to permeate this love into the atmosphere in every place my foot treads.

I’ll close this devotional with a powerful quote out of Bill Johnson’s book ‘Dreaming With God.’

“We don’t need more people without authentic Kingdom experience telling us what we can and cannot have in our lifetime. Those who walk out there faith with an experimental paradigm understand that we will always live in the tension of what we have seen, and what we have yet to see, and that we are always moving on to more in God.” “The church is often seen as the group that changes not. Very little of what exists today would exist at all if those who preceded us did not seek to surpass the boundaries experienced by their predecessors. And so it is with the Church. It is this adventure that God has called us to.”

Amen! (which means ‘let it be so.’)

Giving Your Whole Heart To God

While I was at my beloved home church in Mansfield, TX on Sunday morning, the spoke to me very clearly about something that my friend Blaire (who helps lead worship) sang. She was singing something about “Lord I give you my heart, and all my desires, and my instant thought was; “Lord, why would I want to give you a fleshly or earthly desire?”

And regarding that the Lord spoke to me and said, “because those desires won’t stand in My presence… they will shatter. And the only thing that will remain is those desires fashioned after my heart.”

See, I think so often in worship, or when we are having a real intimate moment in the Lord’s presence we may say “Lord here’s my heart! I give it to you, but the only thing we are handing him is the parts that already long for Him. It’s embarrassing to have to hand over your entire heart to the Lord, because most of the time everything there isn’t so pretty. I think so often in my worship experience I’ve handed the Lord the part of my heart that I want Him to see because it genuinely longs for Him, but the fact remains that He wants my whole heart so that those desires that aren’t after Him can be dealt with.

So I encourage you to get some alone time with the Lord and offer Him your whole heart, so that we might be fashioned after Him!

Coty.

Coty Featured in West Michigan Newspaper

Former GH man in tune with God

Grand Haven Tribune – Fri, Dec 7, 2007
BY ABBEY PALMER
news@grandhaventribune.com

As a Grand Haven High School graduation present, Coty Sloan’s mother bought him an electric violin.

Sloan, now 23, has since put it to good use.  ”I want to be a vessel to introduce people to the reality of who God really is,” said the songwriter-musician.

Sloan has recorded a CD, which was released in June, and he will perform at a Muskegon Christian music store on Saturday and at a downtown Grand Haven church on Sunday.  Although he had been studying classical music most of his life, Sloan decided after high school graduation to give up playing the violin.

“I loved it, but I didn’t think I would actually go somewhere with it,” he said. “In 2004, I moved to Dallas, Texas, to attend a small college called Christ of the Nations. I got involved with a worship team there, playing my electric violin, and we started doing local shows.”

The band grew and eventually started touring different states. In 2005, Sloan left to do a show in the Philippines. He said he felt God leading him in a different direction, and he left the band. “It was a really hard decision because I absolutely loved seeing people transformed and impacted by the power of God’s love through music,” he said.

This past March, Firestarters Record Co. offered to have Sloan fly out to its Minnesota headquarters to record some music.  ”At first, I thought I was going to be recording one or two songs,” he said. “But then I found out that we were doing a whole album. This has been a huge dream for me, and I’m so amazed it came true.”

The 10-track CD – “Melodies of the Spirit” – features all-instrumental Celtic, borderline tribal, easy listening and rock music. “I was trained classically – with really strict, organized rules – and I let that all go to see what God had for me,” Sloan explained. “The music is really instantaneous and I’m just floored at how it came out. My inspiration for music is the freedom I found in learning who God is. It is all about the transformation He made in my life, and the way He moves in others. “My ultimate goal in making the CD was to create an atmosphere where God can move, and touch people’s lives,” he added.

Sloan will be hosting a meet-and-greet CD signing at Hages Christian Supplies, near the Lakes Mall at 4949 Harvey St. in Muskegon, on Saturday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. He will also present a free public concert – “Home for the Holidays: Coty Sloan Live in Concert” – at Covenant Life Church, 101 Columbus Ave. in Grand Haven, at 7 p.m. Sunday.

“I’m not an entertainer, I’m a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ – I just happen to do it through music,” Sloan said. “… I was just a small town boy with a dream so far out of my reach. God lined me up for a miracle and I’m trusting him to do the rest.”

Calling & Desires

My friend Steve and I were sitting one afternoon, and He just began to ask me about my life. He said “Coty, what do you see you doing in your life?” And it’s one of those questions that you usually respond with “Well, how much time do you have?” But that wasn’t so much the case this time around. So I began to share how I know I’m called to minister to the church in America, I know that I am doing and will continue to minister with my violin, and to use the arts to reveal and reflect Jesus to people. After I got done with my brief overview of my calling, Steve said, “well, what do you want to do?” “What are some of your dreams and desires?”

After thinking for a minute, I didn’t have much to say, other than sharing this dream I have of having a traveling team of people who reveal the reality and character of the Lord through music and the fine arts. Simply being asked that question has really made me think lately.

Seem in other words, Steve was asking me, “What do you want to do?” He wanted me to realize that the Lord had already placed dreams and desires within my heart to continue to pray about and dream about and then pursue when released to do so. So often we forget about those things and we tuck them away; and then they begin to collect dust, and soon enough those things become overshadowed and are soon forgotten, when if fact they were placed upon our hearts for a purpose.

We need not get so caught up in explaining the callings; but rather we need to be dreamers again. Yes we need to know who we are in Christ, and yes we should be aware of where He is calling us, but we can’t be so fixated on “OUR” callings that we neglect the things He is placing on our hearts to impact people right now.

Small Beginnings (part 2)

After my season of waiting, I was soon on my way to Ottertail, MN. This small town is where my miracle awaited me, a new beginning. I had no idea what was really ahead of me, but after two weeks, with the help of my friends, I had recorded an entire instrumental album. Something I had never thought was coming my way, was suddenly here.

Starting new is difficult, but with people who believe in you and believe in the calling that God has placed in your life, it changes everything. In 3 months time, the Lord had finished a chapter in my life, and had begun this new chapter that continues to be written more and more everyday.

On June 2^nd, I started ministering on my own for the first time. I can think of one word to describe it… STRETCHING. I had a concert in my home town in Michigan, and the Lord started unveiling gifts in my life that I never knew were there, let alone ready to be used. I got the opportunity not only to share music but, to share my heart as well. And it’s that work that is still happening today. I’m watching the Lord merge ministry and music in a unique way that I never saw happening.

The Lord has started something small on the outside but what’s happening as a result of this new small beginning is huge in my life and in my heart. I’m learning, being molded, and changing everyday, and I have not only come to appreciate the process, but I’ve come to a place where I can’t live without it, because it’s how I know that my heart is changing and the Lord is working. The results in my life from this small beginning, has been huge.

Zec 4:10 “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin…”

Small Beginnings (part 1)

After being at Christ For The Nations for about 2 months, a guy by the name of Rick Pino came up to me and asked me if I would be interested in playing violin with him at a college night for this church in Ft. Worth. One desire that had been on my heart since my youth, was to be part of a powerful worship team and to travel around doing that very thing. Well, little did I know that after my first meeting with Rick; those desires in my heart would soon be satisfied.

After only a few months, those once a month Tuesday nights turned into two weekends a month in parts of Texas; and those turned into different meetings in different states; which turned into flying around the US; which turned into being part of some amazing international events. And all of this took place over the course of just the first year.

I got to meet some incredible people, and traveled with even more incredible people; some of whom are now my closest friends. I was encountering God in some supernatural ways, ways I never thought I would see Him or hear Him. My skill grew exponentially through this season, and I learned so many heart revealing aspects of ministry at such a young age. And then with a single word, it was time to go.

It was October of 2006, and I was in the cornfields of Litchfield, IL when God spoke to me and told me that it was time to move on from being part of the band. 2 months later, in December 2006, I parted ways and took the unknown over what had become such a large part of my life, and a large part of who I was. And for the 3 months following that December, I waited for direction from God.

I was upset at times, frustrated at others; I went back and forth questioning my decision, even though I knew that I had done what the Lord asked. Those desires that were fulfilled were soon memories, as new ones filled my heart. Little did I know in this season of process, reflection, and learning, was the start of what would be another small beginning, a beginning that would start in the small village of Ottertail, MN.

Population: 451.

… to be continued

The Result Of Divine Discontent

It was about 4 weeks before I was to leave for Bible School in Dallas, TX. It was a Sunday morning, and like every Sunday morning before church, I was practicing my vocals and violin in preparation for the worship service that would start right at 10:30. I was now 20 years old and had been doing this every Sunday for about 4 years; but this particular morning everything changed.

As the door from the green room to the stage opened up, I walked out and after a brief welcome from our pastor we began. As we finished the 2^nd verse and went to go into the chorus of our first worship song, a thought ran through my mind. The thought was so out of the ordinary, that it startled me,  it ran through my mind. ‘I hate this.’

Immediately after the service was over, I began asking myself questions I genuinely did not know the answers to. ‘Why did I think that?” “Why am I singing these songs?” “Why am I here?”

That was the very day that a desire settled in my heart to find the reality of who it is that I was serving. It was the beginning of a divine discontent that stirs within me still today. I am stirred and burdened by the state of the church. I was blind to the complacency that was creeping in, as is much of the church. Because of that discontent to the status quo, it set the course for my calling to the Church in America, and it set my feet on a journey to truly find the reality of who God is. A journey that is still being walked 3 years later, and will be walked until this vapor of life dissipates.

This truth in John, chapter 4, is written on my walk. John 4:23-24 “”But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”

One In A Thousand (God’s Timing)

It was October of 2004, and I had just undergone a rough patch in my first semester at Christ For The Nations, and for what seemed one of the first times I remember in my life, I was in what felt like a desert. I was emotionless towards hurt and in a very hard spot. I was growing more and more miserable with each passing day. And even though I was enjoying my time at Bible College and experiencing God in new and very real ways, I was emotionally losing it.

There was one Tuesday night service that semester at CFNI that I will never forget. The message had just finished and they were inviting students up who needed prayer and although I knew I needed to go there I couldn’t get up from my chair, and then I began to think, I’m fine, even though I knew I wasn’t. The co-founder of our school, Mrs. Freda Lindsay, always has a friend that comes with her to those Tuesday night meetings to help her to her seat and to sit with her in the staff seating on stage. We this particular night, Mrs. Lindsay’s friend got up on her feet, walked to the side stairs, walked down them and began walking towards the back of the 1,000 seat auditorium.

After walking about 12 or 13 rows she stopped and began to walk down the row passing students to bye one by one to get to this particular young man. She walked up to him and said ‘The Lord has a word for you.’ Out of the approximately 1,000 students in that room she received a word for this young man, and proceeded to go down to him and deliver it. She began to prophesy over him and tell him that the Lord has heard his cry for a pure heart and that He is with him through this time, and that it is all He will go through will be preparing this young man for a leadership position in the future.

That word is counted as one of the three prophetic words in my life that have genuinely changed me. I was at the end of my rope in that season, and God had this old woman get up out of her chair and walk through that auditorium to find me and give me a message from His heart. I laughed and sobbed for a long time that night, because I heard God’s voice through that old lady, even when I was too stubborn to go up and receive prayer. I was driven to my knees and in His perfect timing, He picked me up.

I rarely find myself questioning the timing of the Lord in my life. He has proved himself over and over again, and I am now learning to completely trust Him, as it says in Isaiah 55:9-11,

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater. So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”

Three Years And Still Learning

Over the past month, I recognized that it has been three years since I left my hometown of Grand Haven, MI. In late August of 2004, I left in my red 2000 Ford Focus, and headed for Dallas, TX, to study at Christ For The Nations Institute. Today, I am still in Dallas, and although I am not currently in school, I’m still learning and being taught.

It’s really hard to explain in detail all that has happened in my life over the past 3 years. I really look back and can not believe that it has only been 3 years. Amazing, Hurtful, Joyful, Exciting, Fulfilling, Stretching, yet in every situation I have taken the opportunity to learn. Without exaggeration, it feels as though it has been 10 years since I left Michigan; but in that time, I’ve learned to appreciate that feeling because it has given me time to learn.

So for the next few weeks in this series called ‘3 years and still learning,’ I just want to reflect, share, and be vulnerable by sharing with you some of the things I have experienced, and things I have learned and am still learning from.

Blessings,

Coty.

Playing The Part Of Producer

This past week I have been in the studio everyday with my friend Shane, producing his soon-to-be released album. This is my first time actually being part of a production team, and what an awesome experience it has been. I have found a entirely new part of music that I really really enjoy.

There is just something about helping to mold a song into it’s best possible potential. What makes that a little more interesting is to do that after you already have incredible content to work with. Having played my violin and doing background vocals for the project, I got a little more perspective of how playing that role in the process of watching everyone from musicians to songwriters, to engineers, and producers take there separate paintbrushes and add to this canvas, it’s awesome. And when it’s done for the Lord, so that HE might be glorified, it is incredible.

There is always the possibility for the canvas to end up looking like garbage when that many people have paintbrushes in their hands, but when you are working with multiple humble individuals who know how to follow the leading of the Lord, and have laid their gifting down before the Lord; the masterpiece becomes something wonderful.

My friend Shane will be releasing his new album in early October. Please go and check out his music @ Shane’s Myspace <— just click here. The songs will be up very soon, and pre-orders will begin in a few weeks.

Multiple gifts used in one accord, creates beautiful things you may not have been able to create on your own.
Coty.